Our silly, spicy girl….

Okay this is my second blog post in less than a week – miracles can happen!!!

Well, I have to hand it to Lydia…..she’s quite brilliant   Yesterday, Lauren came up to me and said, “Mommy, there are two policeman at the door.”  I thought Lauren was joking because she’s always teasing me by saying, “Mommy, such and such is at the door….”  Only for me to go to the door and no one’s there!  So I said, “Nice try, Sweetie!”  She said, “No, Mommy, I’m SERIOUS this time.” So I thought I should at least go and check.  Sure enough, there were two police officers at my door asking if someone had called 911.  I told them everything was just fine and there were no worries on our end.  So he radioed back to the operator who confirmed that the 911 call DID come from our house.  Then I remembered that Lydia likes pushing the buttons on the phone and was the one who’d managed to do the deed.  After I profusely apologized, we all had a good laugh.  I hope she’s not calling 911 to get away from us!  With all the attention she gets around here, she’s probably getting too overwhelmed!

Lydia has also shown us that she has a tremendous capacity to empathize with those who are crying.  Whenever Rebekah cries, she will imitate her and then go and put her head in her lap.  It is SO cute!

Also, she is communicating amazingly well.  At meal times, she will point to whatever food she’d like to eat, point at herself, then point to her mouth!  I guess it doesn’t take long to figure out her needs!  She’s also getting quite picky about the foods she eats.  She’s picky about the texture, temperature, and lastly, it has to be extra peppery.  I have even put pepper in oatmeal and peaches just for her.  Since Lydia comes from a region in China that’s so accustomed to hot, spicy food, she has natural tendencies for it.  She’s our SPICY GIRL!!!

BIG NEWS!!!!

Hi everyone!  Before I get to the BIG NEWS, I really should post those pictures of Lydia’s birthday that I promised umm…..let’s see….about a month ago??!!  I am so sorry.  My running buddies have been holding my feet to the fire to post them.  So here they are   We actually celebrated Lydia’s birthday three times!  Once was with Jeff’s family:

Lydia with Aunt Lisa and Cousin Jessica

Aunt Shelley, Uncle Chris, Taylor and Eryn

opening presents

Lydia LOVES cake!

Then we celebrated with my side of the family.  My brother’s and Lydia’s birthdays are just one day apart!

Celebrating with Uncle Dave, Aunt Kim, Grammy, Rachael and Molly

Then….we had our own family celebration with a special candle that we purchased in China.  You light it and it pops into a large, pink flower and plays “Happy Birthday”!  The picture below is quite funny as the flame looks a little weird and Lydia looks pretty scared by the whole thing!!

Lydia will be a........chef??!!

The above picture is a traditional Chinese game that we have played with each of our kids on their first birthday.  The Chinese believe that children are born with natural tendencies and abilities and that, even at one year of age, those abilities shine through in their preferences with what they play with.  So the game is played by lining up a series of objects which represent various professions.  The trick is to pick objects which they are unfamiliar with.  Then put the baby on the other side of the room and whichever object the baby crawls to and picks up first will be their profession!  Lydia picked up the spatula, representing a chef!  Nathan picked up a calculator and to this day really enjoys math.  Lauren picked up a pen and has never really put one down since.  She loves to write stories.  Rebekah was indecisive and picked up a medal (athlete) and a microphone (actress).  Those two things have proven true in her life, too!  So we’ve always enjoyed that game in our family!

Now….on to the BIG NEWS!!!

LYDIA WALKED FOR THE FIRST TIME TONIGHT – YEAH!!!!  She has been standing for about four weeks now but tonight, she took about ten steps like a pro!  She has been crawling up the stairs as fast as she possibly can in recent days and loves investigating literally everything in the house

Lydia’s first steps!!!

Lydia’s birthday!

Hi everyone!

I plan to post some pictures really soon about Lydia…..so check back in a few days and we’ll have them up!

Thank you!

Walking in the shoes of an orphan…

I wanted to share this article that our social worker gave us when we went through our home study.  I pulled it out the other day, realizing how much it truly depicts what these sweet kids go through when they are so young and cannot understand what is happening to them.

It is a long read but well worth it.

Imagine for a moment…

You have met the person you’ve dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiance’. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by “soul mate,” for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day’s events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner’s arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT’S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn’t understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,…even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn’t speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn’t seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened…that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He’s finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don’t understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to “get along.” You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you’ve ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you’ve never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you’re used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy’s hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you’ve fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you’re hanging on for dear life, you’ve learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

–Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller

Home at last!

Hi everyone!

Thank you for checking in on our website. We will still be posting now and then about Lydia’s life so feel free to log in occasionally!

I just wanted to give you an update on several things and I apologize for not getting these posted sooner. Jet lag hit full force when we came home and I was never quite able to be coherent for a long enough period of time to post anything

First of all, we have been completely overwhelmed with the wonderful graciousness of our friends and neighbors upon arriving back home! We’ve been showered with gifts, food, and help of all kind. Thank you so much!

Thanks to Grammy for taking such good care of Rebekah. She had a wonderful time on the farm and probably did not ask about us being gone – due to Grammy’s loving “spoiling” tendencies

Thanks to our neighbors, The Rosendahls, who drove us to and from the airport – and to top it all off had a homemade Chinese “welcome sign” made for Lydia. Jennifer and my mom also went to the trouble of stocking our refrigerator with food to have handy for the next few days or so.

Grammy, Rebekah, and Jennifer are in the picture below….

Welcome home party at the airport!

Our next door neighbors, The Tuckers, had a beautiful flower arrangement waiting for us on our table, along with some lentil soup! This was really special because I can keep the vase for Lydia when she grows up – a custom I have kept up for all of our kids.

Our lifegroup gave us a Costco gift card and are delivering meals. Myra was responsible for posting a “It’s a Girl!” sign in our front yard. I was just getting ready to take it into the FBI for a fingerprint analysis when Genevieve turned you in, Myra!

The Reeces graciously took care of our leopard gecky, Spotty. This was a huge undertaking as it entails (sometimes) cutting the heads off of superworms to feed Spotty. That’s a task we have all become familiar with around here, but they were thrust into the job quickly and without job training – ha! Spotty even came back to our family with his name spelled out in sticky letters that Keaton had made for him. If you ask Spotty, I think he wants to go back to your house!

The Nelsons took care of our lone Betta fish who is accompanied by slacker snails that did not do their job of cleaning the algae. So they were horrified each day to see the algae growing more and more. Sorry for the stress, guys! I did not want to post a picture of the out of control algae

Genevieve Burt graciously invested her time and energy into making this beautiful keepsake for Lydia. The really funny thing about this present is that she had no idea about my own personal struggle with these cross-stitch pictures…..when Nathan was born, I made one for him and got it finished when he was about three months old. I felt terribly guilty that I did not have it done BEFORE he was born! Ha! Then when Lauren was born, I got hers finished when she was a year old. Again…more guilt over the fact that I did not get it done earlier. Well, poor Rebekah, she is nearly five years old and I have about 1/8th of her picture finished. At this point, I’m hoping to get it done by the time she graduates from high school! I even took it on our China trip and hoped to get some done there. All the time I was in China, I kept thinking, “Wow…when am I EVER going to find time to get Lydia’s done??!!!” Then – wahlah! Genevieve read my mind. THANK YOU, GENEVIEVE!!!!! Lydia will greatly appreciate your special gift and I do, too! You took away much stress in my life. Now….do you happen to have time to finish Rebekah’s for me??!!

Lydia did really well on the plane ride home. She stretched out on her tummy and slept for about six hours total of the 12+ hour flight. We barely made our connecting plane to Kansas City from Chicago due to going through immigration and customs. We were flying through all of the paperwork and running through the airport to catch our flight, but we did manage to snap this shot of Lydia while going up an elevator…..technically the time she became a US Citizen! She looks pretty happy, don’t you think?

Lydia

I took Lydia to our pediatrician a few days after we arrived back home and she pronounced her a “miracle”. Not only is Lydia right on track developmentally, but she did not even have a cold! Dr. Martin thought that was amazing because she has had lots of adopted Chinese children as patients over the years and they at least come back with an illness of some sort. I think that is an amazing testimony to Lydia’s orphanage caretakers and God’s grace. We are going to have her liver and kidney functions tested as well as a host of other tests run – but by and large, everything is just wonderful. I also found out that the final report from Nestle (the manufacturer of the formula that Lydia has been on her entire life) came out clean – no melamine! So the Hong Kong newspaper report was bogus. Probably a knee jerk reaction on their part to quell the crisis at hand…

Several of you have asked if I was able to track down Lydia’s finding ad in the newspaper while we were in Qian Jiang. A finding ad is put in the local newspaper each time that an orphan is found, kind of giving her parents one last chance to take her back home. I did not need to locate this because our agency gave us a copy of it. I am so thankful to have it!

Several of you have asked about Rebekah being jealous of Lydia and for now, at least, she has not showed one bit of envy. She is always willing to feed Lydia, change her diapers (at least part way!), and hold her. She also likes to pick out her clothes each day. I’ve been thinking about that and feel that for almost all of Rebekah’s life, she has known she was going to have a “little sister from China”. We started the process of adopting Lydia when Rebekah was a year and a half old and now she’s almost five. So I think that since she has not known anything different, she has just accepted her as her little sister! She did get mad a few days ago when Lydia was crying in the middle of the night. She said, “Can you just move Lydia out of my room so I can sleep??!!” We solved the problem by moving Rebekah’s mattress into Lauren’s room. Lydia has since slept from 8:30AM-9:30AM two nights in a row so I think it’s safe to say she can move back in now. It’s terrific that Lydia and Rebekah are our two deepest sleepers. Lydia slept through a typhoon of all things! And Rebekah sleeps through many noises during the night that wake all of the rest of us up. So we think they are well suited to share a room together.

Here are a few more interesting pictures from our trip that we were not able to post in China. It took us anywhere from 5-10 minutes for each pictures to post and sometimes we were too tired or busy to post as many as we wanted.

On the bund in Shanghai

Monk with the cell phone

I did not realize that I captured the monk speaking on the cell phone until I arrived back home. He is in the upper left corner. I think this picture captures the essence of mixing “tradition” with “technology”….

White Swan Hotel in Guangzhou

Our adoption travel group #1409

Funny English sign

Pappa Johns Delivery vehicle

With our former teacher, Zhou

One other thing that I failed to mention is the oath taking ceremony at Guangzhou. We were not allowed to take pictures of it and although it lasted a total of about five minutes, it was very moving. In that room were about 100 American citizens who had sworn their love and loyalty to raising these children from China. Those children had a whole host of issues that need to be dealt with in the coming years. There were boys and girls. Some were deaf and blind. Some had missing limbs. Some had heart problems. Some were healthy. But all of them were well loved and chosen by their “new” parents and it was very emotional to see that take place.

Lydia is doing fabulous! In the past few days….here are a few of her “firsts”:

Waving goodbye to people.

Making new sounds other than “ya ya”.

Getting into everything – her curiosity is insatiable!

She now likes swings. At first she wasn’t too sure but now she loves it!

She still does not like touching grass with her barefeet.

She loves the trampoline if she’s sitting down and bouncing up and down ever so gently.

She has made a great adjustment to Rebekah and enjoys playing with her, too, along with tugging on her curly, blonde hair occasionally!

She loves Grammy’s chickens and cat.

She is not sure what to think about dogs as she is very curious but pulls away when they come towards her.

She actually has developed preferences on food. If it’s something she doesn’t like, it promptly ends up on the floor one piece at a time! She does not like baked potatoes or refried beans.

She does not like her car seat one bit!

She used to scream and cry every time we changed her diaper or her clothes. It turned into a literal wrestling match. But now she is much better.

All three of the kids have little ‘arguments’ over who gets to hold or feed her. It is fun to watch them decide who is next in line

Rebekah feeding Lydia

She also likes her baths now and splashes a lot – just like her nanny told me she liked to do!

Overall, she is a very happy, content little girl. She smiles all the time and laughs with a really deep belly laugh. Nathan likes slapstick humor so he and Lydia have this little routine down where he puts his face right by her feet. When she “kicks” him in the face, he pretends like she knocks him down on the floor. She loves doing that over and over and over and over and over and over….

Is this girl spoiled or what?!

Silly pic!

Shanghai Blessing

Sorry for the big gap between postings.  We have been very busy since arriving in Shanghai.  Mostly just talking and catching up with two very special friendships.  First, our old friends Sean and Angela who lived in Shanghai with us back in 94-95 and are still here teaching, mentoring, and shining His light to this vast city.  We had the wonderful opportunity to stay with them and their two teenage daughters (who we knew when they were 2 and 4).   The other family we just had to see in Shanghai was Lee and his wife.  Lee is a dear Chinese friend whom we had the privilege of influencing and helping grow in his faith back in 94.  Since then he has married and has two beautiful children.  Many of you have probably heard us tell the miracle story of their daughter.  We were so thrilled to be able to sit down face-to-face and get all the details of this story from them in person.

On Sunday we decided to take a journey from Sean and Angela’s house on the south side of the city to our old University on the north side of town just to see the changes and possibly even meet up with a few old teachers who we wanted to reconnect with.  It was amazing to see the changes in our ‘old stomping grounds’.  Our hotel was still there but had been completely renovated and was much nicer than we remembered.  A new subway station was just across the street from the hotel and made travel there so convenient.  The campus itself had also been dramatically improved.  Our old classroom building was torn down and was replaced with a fancy research center.  The track was even changed from gravel to rubber and the campus even now has an indoor gymnasium with a pool and exercise room for the students.

While on campus we decided to go to the teacher offices and see if any of our old teachers were still there.  Most had already gone home but we met a teacher who we didn’t know and explained to him that we were looking for our old teacher.  He laughed and said that he was good friends with this teacher and he would be happy to call him for us.  So he did and we walked back to the teacher’s home and had a wonderful reunion with him.  It was really fun for him to see our kids and find out how we were doing.

Last night Sean and Angela, another family, and us were invited over to Lee’s family house.  We met over pizza with these three wonderful families and just laughed, talked, reminisced, and offered up words of encouragement and blessing to one another.  It was such a special time.  I am writing this only 1 hour before our flight leaves for the US.  It is so very difficult to say goodbye knowing the future is uncertain and our next reunion will be many years away.  Our hearts will be very heavy as we say goodbye at the airport, but we share the same hope of a God who loves us and will ultimately bring all his children together in perfect peace.  That helps.

Lydia is doing wonderful.  Sean and Angela and their daughters continually comment about how she just seems so at ease and comfortable with us.  She even took her first step here!  One of the great things has been watching her “prefer” us over other people.  This is a huge milestone!  She also started clapping last night and it was fun to see her enjoy the music so much.  She has adjusted so well to all the crazy traveling and us dragging her around everywhere.  We are amazed at how God has made things so easy for us to add this extra three days onto the end of our trip.  Our time here in Shanghai has flown by.  We are all tired and ready to be home, but these past three days have been a wonderful blessing.  Please pray for a safe (and quiet) flight home and for Lydia’s continued adjustment.

Thank you so much for all of your fun comments!  We thoroughly enjoy reading them and they keep us encouraged each day!  For most of you, we will see you in a short time!

Partial success!

Well, our search for fried octopus dead ended tonight.  So instead, we decided to munch on silk worms and water beetles!  Yum yum!  The silk worms tasted like mushy french fries – if you can imagine that.  When the water beetles first arrived at our table, one of the guys volunteered himself to be the first to try them out.  So he just dug in and put the whole thing in his mouth!  The only trouble is that he didn’t realize they needed to have the wings and legs taken off of them!  So we all had a good laugh.  Here are some pictures.

Silkworms

Jackie eating a silkworm

Jeff eating a water beetle

Yesterday we visited a very old Buddhist temple and pagoda,  It was built in the 800’s.  The most interesting thing was watching a Buddhist monk talk on a cell phone   I did not have the heart to take his picture though!

At the Buddhist Temple

Buddhist Temple

Buddhist Temple

Lydia fell asleep at dinner!

Scenes from China…

The meat market under our hotel in Chongqing

All of the babies in our adoption group

Various delicacies to eat

Making bread

A heavy load to carry...

Making beautiful crafts out of leaves

Lydia’s changes

The biggest thing I have to write about today is the change in Lydia!  She has gone from only facing us and holding on for dear life…..to sitting by herself and playing.  She goes to all four of us equally well.  She will now sit in a highchair at dinner time (as opposed to us feeding her in our lap).  She laughs and crawls and pulls herself up to a standing position.  Just a few short days ago, I was thinking, “Wow….I wonder if she is autistic…”  But now I don’t worry anymore.  I actually think that her previous timidity was from looking at my hair!  Don’t you think???  It’s so humid and hot here that I look like Shirley Temple…a far cry from the straight, black hair of the Chinese! That would be enough to scare anyone!  Nathan was playing with her this morning shortly after she drank some milk.  I guess he didn’t wait long enough because she threw up right in his mouth!!!  Bullseye!!!  He didn’t like that very much but the rest of us thought it was hilarious!  Unfortunately, I didn’t have my camera handy

Lydia playing with Nathan and Lauren

This afternoon, we will take the oath of citizenship at the US Consulate here in Guangzhou.  Then we are off tomorrow morning for Shanghai.  We will spend a few days there with our old friends and teachers before leaving for the US on September 30th.

We have one more item of business that we have to finish up though….one of the teenage kids and I are in search of deep fried octopus.  So this is our last night to find it and chow down.  He wanted to go out on a limb and try some odd food so he chose octopus and I told him that I’d try it with him.  I’ll try and post some pictures of that tonight if we are successful!

I hope that the pictures of Typhoon Hagupit came out okay on this website.  Actually, our group made the local paper so that was quite funny.  Somewhere, there was a newspaper reporter on the streets capturing sights and he/she took a picture of our group traipsing through the water on our way to get the babies’ physical examination completed.  We must have looked pretty funny!

Outside our hotel room - Typhoon Hagupit

Newspaper delivery man during the Typhoon

First Taste of Cake

Lydia cannot get enough cake

Tonight we celebrated my birthday with a cake that our representatives brought to us.  It was a lot of fun to laugh and enjoy some cake with some friends from Colorado.  We even let Lydia enjoy her first taste of cake.  Boy did she ever like that.  She just kept eating and eating and stuffed her mouth with cake.  It was so funny.

Earlier we enjoyed some wonderful Thai food at a restaurant not far from the hotel.  The food was very good.  Lydia ate an entire bowl of congee with pork.  We’ve had a little trouble get her to drink liquids but she is eating very well.  The congee was good for her because it had a lot of liquids in it.

We also finished all the paper work for our visit to the US consulate which is scheduled for Friday.  It took 2 hours to fill out all the paper work and organize everything.  Thankfully the agency reps here are very organized and have done this hundreds of times so they had everything well prepared.  Please pray for this final stage of the offical work to get Lydia a US visa.

Lydia with cake face

Enjoying a wonderful Thai dinner

Jeff and Kathy and Jocelyn our agency reps in Guangzhou